The Scorpios

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Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Physics Pun Time


I ask- What happens when a wedge is pushed down  between two objects ? 

Ojas- Mamma what happens when a veg eats 

Me- ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก, ignores, continues with questions 

Ojas- he gets cut because Veg= wedge 

Me - couldn't help but ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ then pick the phone to broadcast. 

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Historically Challenged

Records of later vedic period found in - Upanishads.
Teachings of budha found in - Upanishads????
Info about Mauryan empire found in- Upanishads!!!!

Meanwhile I wait with tremendous patience (not) when the children will let go of the poor Upanishads.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Logic in Computer Science

What does an Algorithm start with
Tejas- with A
It's logically correct Mamma

Sunday, April 09, 2017

More Bio

So how do we save petrol
Ojas- don't go out.

Ojas - Plants depend on animal for food
Me- how ?
Ojas - pitcher plant

More studies

How to remove lice
Tejas - by shaving the hair

Na rahe baans...

Studying do much

Studying biology- what should you do when you have difficulty reading.
Tejas- turn on the light
Logic hai

Studying geography
Language of Bushmen is made of clicks of tongue. Elders name the baby bushmen to accord them respect

Ojas- what is the respect in that ? Anyway it is some click click. Cluck cluck name.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Another question

Me- I am stressed and such because of your exam
Tejas- think about us then

Point

Thursday, March 30, 2017

History Repeats

A lifetime ago a girl couldn't let go of her 15 puzzle. She had both the one with numbers and another one with alphabets. She carried it with her e everywhere she went. She kept solving the patterns over and over again. It was an obsession, a challenge and a pastime. Even in her sleep she saw the patterns.
Little did she know that a lifetime later, her son would do the same. Wake up to it and sleep over it. Speak about it and challenge himself to solve the grid in the shortest possible time.
Can't say she is not pleased with what she has made.
Wish they made alphabet puzzle like they used to.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Puns, Jokes and Pertinent Questions

Ojas- Pushp and Suman plucked flowers and then they died. Why?
Me- Why?
Ojas- Because they themselves were pushp and suman.
Hindi Lessons!

Bhishm can marry Satyavati. Problem Solved. Says Ojas when things got complicated with the fisherman Dad of Satyavati. Why didn't we think of that solution?


Tejas- Green house effect should be called red house effect because red is hotter.

Tejas- before going to do the big job- I am going to do excretion - Bio lessons!
Ojas- Mujhe urine aa raha hai.

In a great moment of bonding, we decided to sing to karaoke. I started with Last Christmas.
Tejas- Politely- I think you should try something sung by a woman.
I tried another one, increasing the volume of the TV
Tejas- Let me close the door.

Kids- Open the door, I want to go to susu.
Me- do outside
Kids- cc TV will see my anus penus
Ojas- and chaddi
Tejas- I am not wearing chaddi

Me- Do you know when Mamu was small I pulled his pant down so he crawled towards me and tried pulling my skirt
Tejas- He should have just done this- made a lifting gesture
Simple Revenge Solutions

Tejas wrote a poem for my bday (2016)
A hen set out in a good mood to look for food. She got too angry and she ate her own brood.
Very Phoebe-isque poem

Why did you pull my hair Mamma
Tejas to Ojas- Mamma will say it is pyaar pull

Dialogue Check
Mummy help me
I am your mummy. Nobody will help you


In another news, both children wanted to vote for the guy who wanted to cut language classes and add more PT classes.


On a road trip Tejas was jealous of Ojas who was reading on my kindle. Since it was a pdf he couldn't access dictionary.
Tejas happy- little pleasures

Tejas when he saw cousin's Arabian dress picture
Who is this? Jesus Christ ? Why is he Arab?
Valid Religion questions

In a spree of environmental friendliness I asked Tejas to pee in the two compost pots.
Tejas- how will I pee in one, stop and pee in the other. I cant stop in the middle
Biologically sound question

During Doopaadoo Launch
Ojas- Mamma, Shruti Hasan asked my name when I was tying my shoelace.
Tejas- My friends will be J when I say I met ARR and Shruti Hasan
Ok. ARR I understand. But...
Isn't it too soon?


Ojas upon finding a chocolate in the fridge
Tejas- Which date did you get it in the birthday party? Cant you remember which friend gave you? Why didn't you eat.
He checked the date. Checked with me whether it was old. Finally couldn't control and ate it
Enlightened  Shoppers as usual

Tejas- I know about valentine's day. The day people make friends
Proud that he knows about it since 2013?
Wasn't that too early to know it?

Ojas- name one thing which is solid, liquid, gas
Me- Water etc?
Ojas- poop, pee, fart

The thing I hate is the plastic bat thrown on the dining table.
So I threw the bat outside.
He went promptly to my cupboard and threw my things on the floor.

One power-less night we played bull cow game. (number mental hangman)
We started with numbers
I asked Tejas to think of a four digit number.
My first elimination guess was - 1234
Tejas- surprised- correct
Ojas- ha ha Tejas Gandhi

Ojas- childish insult- eat cockroach saliva
Tejas - They don't have saliva

Me- Ojas- take this honey water and gargle
Ojas- Cover kar do. Flies aa jayega. Sweet hai na.

Me to Ojas- I have eyes at the back of my head
Ojas- Wait let me poke and check. No. No water in my eyes. Now let me poke your real eye and check.

When I had said the same to my brother when he was the same age he had asked a genuine -really?

Ojas- Mamma tell me honestly. Are you going to Delhi for office work or to meet all mamis?

Ojas when I didn't answer him- Mamma, kuch question poocha. And repeated the question
Beta bada ho gaya

Me- I am going to litfest for fun
Ojas- I know why you are going. Tumhara book dekhne

Tejas- why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9
Ojas- 7 doesn't have mouth. how will he eat?
#Kaise joke banaate ho

Ojas- If Hindu man marries Christian woman, will the children be Christian?
Tejas- I know an example- Murugan Mary

Ojas - a friend told me I kept lava in bottle. huh
Tejas- You cant even go near a lava.
Ojas- true

Not getting fooled!

One night I wore a sleeveless nighty
That day Ojas didn't want to sleep on my arm
Because- arm pit smell. Finally he put a pillow on it and slept


Ojas tells Mamu- Waiter, make juice for me (he was making drinks)
Mamu- get lost (in politer manner)
Ojas- I will complain to your manager. Goes and complains to Mami

Mamu- Cant find Barcelona T shirt
Ojas - What about Argentina, Germany
backup always ready
Ojas- look for Messi t shirt. Will be written at the back
Mamu- Doondhna padega
Ojas- Toh Dhoondho.
Never take no for an answer
No excuse shopping

Nani- Why didn't you write Hindi notes
Tejas- I was sent out of class so how would I write?
Casual Class

Ojas- did you sneeze on my French fries? Bacteria will come and infect it.
Tejas- So I can eat both French fries.
Ojas- Bacteria will come in your mouth
Tejas-- My bacteria only. Its coming out and the same is going in so no problem

In another news, I coughed on Ojas' head so that he shampoos.
He shampooed three rounds!
Fear of Bacteria works


Ojas- wake me but not in a terrible way
Me- what is terrible way
Ojas- switching off fan and mosquitoes bite

Me to Tejas- mera bachcha ko (Ojas) mara
Ojas- Main bhi tumhara bachcha hoon



 

What are the Sons Upto?

If the hair on my head were not already thin, they would have greyed by now considering they have taken to working like geniuses.

Last night I entered my home from my walk of 2000 steps and smelled the unmistakeable smell of L'eau de Issey. Yes it was World fragrance day on 21st March but doesn't mean I must smell fragrance like an air freshener.
The children complimented- Mamma your 'office' fragrance works. It kills ants. Which perfume? How many sprays? I knew the answer but still I asked.  They pulled out the Cabochard bottle and told me, this one.
'This one?' I screamed. 'Smell it. Does it look like you have sprayed this?'
'Yaa, this smells like Jasmine..'
'So? You sprayed this one?'
Ojas grabbed the bottle and I grabbed it back even as he sniffed it and said, 'yes this one.'
On one hand I felt relieved that I didn't walk to a smashed bottle of my favourite scent and on the other hand I panicked at the waste.
' How many sprays?' I asked, my heart beating.
'One only.'
'One?'
'Each'
'That is two sprays.'

I could have cried. Perhaps it is time to stop saving them for posterity and start using them liberally before they end up being used for letting ants leave in style (Dotmom's words not mine.)
What killed the ants, certainly made me stronger.  And yes, one more pun- I did pay through my nose for the perfume bottles.